Sometimes, I rest my forehead against my open palms to hold in the noise inside my mind from ripping my skull apart it is getting harder and harder i bite my teeth tightly to be stronger and stronger i want to cry to let out some tension some strain but my tear system isn't working i imagine i slit open my face to find out what's wrong i start from my forehead because the flesh is quite thin should be easy but i realise it's mad i'm going crazy so i suddenly realise i suddenly wish for someone to do it for me!

I suddenly wish for somebody to slice open my back neatly and gently remove my spine. It will be great to start from the neck somewhere below my brain just at the top of my neck and just stab a clean knife on the right side of the bones we must try to locate first of course. Stab! Then remove the knife, then stab! into the left side. careful the knife not to come out from infront or it won't be as pretty as if it didn't.

Debone me!

Stab! Swish. Slice. Slice. Swish!

Oh. I suddenly want to scratch myself hard, to tear open my skin. It will feel nice to do it myself on the hand it is not so mad i will pretend. I will pretend I have a mosquito bite on the back of my hand. I will scratch with my nails. I will scratch my left hand with my right hand, and tear open my skin. bloody messy tear.

Oh. I suddenly want to slit neat lines down the flesh of my fingers on the back of my hand and I can have my bones crawl out bloodily. The somebody who defleshed my spine can deflesh my other hand.

I suddenly feel trapped within myself, I want to come out.

I've tried screaming, and it doesn't work at all.

Deflesh all of me! I want to come out. I want to come out.

Lay my skeleton in a field under the hot sun or toast me in a giant microwave oven.

So that my brains and everything beneath the bones will die and melt or explode and I will forget everything there is to remember.

I am sure I will be free.

I am sure I will be free.